I love you, but I lost

Please do not say as if I am the bad person, here. I had a feeling as strong as you were. We had problem with our communication and trust issue. 
We’ve become too much formal; all of the thing we’d been through together become something strict. Like a rulled book. What we did are exactly same thing over and over again. We never planned to do something else together again. 
I asked you to act like friend to make this formality cool again between us, but you dont trust me. 
I felt like I was losing the sense of yourself, i missed that alot! the real character of yours somehow disappear. 
I wanted to improve the situation, being friend as I asked before not because I wanted to make you not special, but because I wanted to make it enjoy again with you. Can talked easily for every kind of situation. But I did not realize it turns to insecurities & impatient. 
I feel like I am being trapped and hard to pop up my mind. Sharing, is something very limited between us now. Sounds easy but it is not. Besides, ‘sharing’ is something really matters for every woman in this earth, it makes them fully feeling their existence especially in relationship.
I’m not here to blame you. 

I love you but I feel lost. 

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